Good Bye Old Friend

We've been together for so long it seems, since before I lived on my own. I can still remember the day I meet you. All the fond memories I have with you, the things we have shared, the nights we spent together keeping each other company. 

-----Click-------

Laughing through the good times, Crying at the losses we have had, and always willing to share the ever changing world events knowing we have seen history together. All of that has been amazing to know I have someone out there that has always been there for me. You my friend have stimulated my sense of exploration along with my ever need for comedic relief. Even from the times we seemed to grow apart, with my job and my growing relationship with the girl, we always knew we'd stay together through it all. 

----Click-----      -----Click-----

Ugh.....I told you from the start that even with me moving on to the new unknowns you'd be there through it all. I didn't lie, you where there when I moved out of my folks. You were there when we got our own place, and than when we had a home. You were their when my son was born, and I figured you'd be there for the rest of life. Lately though I feel that its less and less a sure thing, you seem to be loosing the battle within and I'm not sure how much more I can take this with our friendship.

----Click-----   ----Click-----   ----Click-----   -----Click-----

Come on!....Frankly you've become very unreliable lately and being as busy as I am with life you seem less of a good fit. It'd be different if I felt you were trying but you take the longest time to get yourself going and your always blacking out. I don't have time for these shenanigans, I don't have time to wait, you ever try waiting around with an infant? 

I'm sorry TV but you're being replaced.

Food for thought: L&D

Here's a question for you; Upon pulling into the ambulance parking space at the hospital with an active MI that you will be going straight to the Cath lab (a person having a heart attack going to the procedure table, for the lay people) would you take off the defibrillator pads, the electrodes and discontinue any IV's you had established? I mean figuring that your at the hospital and even though you had to go up a few stories in the building to get to the Cath lab you were already in the hospital, so everything is ok and the patient cant obviously get any worse on you. Right?

So than why is it that same mentality is applied to OB calls? Why is it so common place to forget to take the OB kit with us into the hospital when we take the patient in active labor to L&D?

The last place I'd want to play catch is in an elevator with no mitts!

Be Safe
Ambulance Junkie

I try not to be Political

I'm not claiming I know everything thats going on, and I don't expect you to agree, but 

You know what grinds my gears? Wisconsin

I try not to be involved in politics, because the system is broken and it wont make a bit of difference who is in charge until we fix the system. With that being said, I have to say how disgusted I am in Wisconsin and their strife. I mean we all need to take a stand with them! These public employees are being asked to pay for a whopping 20% of health care premiums, that with instituting radical ideology of merit based pay! How dare they! I mean why reward only the ones who work hard? Rather they must continue to pay everyone the same regardless of how much or how little work they do, after all thats only fair.

Ok a little sarcasm there, but I don't feel your strife folks. I'm not sorry you have a great retirement and haven't had to pay your fair share of health benefits.  Why don't I feel your struggle? When I began my career, there was no retirement plan in place, fortunately now there is and I feel lucky to have one. The cost of private sector health care is paid for completely by those who own the insurance. I know, crazy 100% of the cost of health insurance is paid for by the employee. Did I mention that the cost of private health care for a small business is also through the roof? I'm sorry your being asked to suffer a burden by paying 20% of the cost, but frankly you have a job and have never cried over being paid to much.

I also don't agree that your job performance isn't based on how hard you work. I believe that the harder you work the more productive you are. The more productive you are the more productive the company is. The more productive the company is, the more revenue it will generate. Thus (theoretically) the better they compensate those who were productive.

Welcome to the new America, gas is $4+, health care is expensive, Taxes are astronomical, Unemployment is record breaking and the Republicans are just as bad as the Democrats.

Be Safe
Ambulance Junkie

Logistics

Logistics is a thing of beauty
its the wife bringing food to the station
and being able to arrange the drop off on a scene of a call.

Secretly and covertly placing the goods within the ambulance and
slipping into the night.
With out ever knowing that she was even there.

She knows how the system works, understands the dimensions
and is able to operate cohesively with its
less than predictable nature

All with out waking the sleeping child in the car
or breaking a sweat

Help!
I think I married a Ninja! 

Can you tell me where these go?

Sitting around the station I was reminded of a great story that was encountered in a foreign hospital on a rare bring home transfer. Stubs and my self had traveled two and a half hours to get to the sending facility, which we have dropped off to before. Its a hospital that dwarfs our three local shops combined, but of course its a level one Trauma center, Burn center, a Pediatric center, Cancer specialist, Heart specialist, and they even have a few actual Tim Horton/Dunkin Donut shops and a Cold Stone Creamery in house.

So with a hospital this big its easy to get lost, infact its real easy to get lost. They employ St. Benards to rome the halls in search for lost visitors. Information kioask every thousand yards to keep folks on track, and its highly suggested you travel in groups larger than three as a standard safety procedure. Colored lines stripe the corridor floors to lead you to the associated unit, whether it be Blue for the lab, Red for the ER, Green for Oncology, Black for Radiology or even White with blue polka dots for Cold Stone.

We had a general idea of where we were heading and with stretcher in tow we headed in for our adventure. Waiting for an elevator we gazed upon a very lost and confused young lady, looking lost but to proud to admit it. Looking at the signs she tried to decipher where she was in terms of where she needed to be. Finally asking for help she gave the closest guy a chance with no luck, but behold her savior was about to make him self known.

A lonely deaf gentleman, standing in the wings who had always wanted to be a knight in shining armor saw his chance. He approached this lovely young lady and began trying to help, but unfortunately he was no better than the lot of the folks standing at this busy intersection of the hospital. He led her down one corridor than back and around a corner and back, the whole time explaining how he was a nice guy or still lived with his mother. He finally admitted that he wasn't really sure where she was looking for, whether he didn't understand her fully due to his hearing impairment or just had no clue how to take her to where she was looking we may never know.

Finally going to and from the various locations with her escort the young lady finally asked the question, "where do these Elevators go?" he replied simply "They go Up and Down"

Stubs and I lock eyes and grin, as the elevator doors open and quickly slip in to escape before we cracked up in laughter. As we turned to hit the button for the ninth floor we were surprised to hear the young lady ask us to hit the fifth floor knob. Our joy would have to wait I thought as the doors closed and it began to go up a floor, "Oh No!" the young lady let out "I was hoping for the elevator that goes left to right." As she turned and grinned we reached the fifth floor, and with that she departed. Leaving those remaining in the elevator all with ear to ear smiles.

Be Safe
Ambulance Junkie

I'm out of places to look.

I give up! I am through, its impossible and I admit defeat! I am not a quitter but damn it I'm finished. I have searched all over and am out of places left to look for it. Impossible to rationalize that there are only so many places to look, and yet each and every one of them has yielded no success. 

Its only four rooms, all the cabinets are locked up, the stair ways are blocked off and the closets closed. No Open windows or doors and no holes in the floors or walls. Every last conceivable location looked over with a fine tooth comb.

 Still no success!

The only one who possibly knows where the object of my affection may be isn't talking. Or at least isn't talking in any rational form, rather just babbling along. Sure he has the dexterity to hold and "throw" but not the stature to place it atop any object. So its hard to imagine where he has put it.

I have to admit my little man has bested me at hiding the remote control,

8 weekends in a row!

Ambulance Hi-Jinx

As I sit behind my laptop and ponder, I am drawn constantly to reminiscing pranks that have been pulled over the years in this station. The pranks that have been lengthy and the ones that happen so fast a blink of an eye would miss it. Here are a few of my favorites, though I don't recommend doing them (which absolves me from liability right?)

Never fall asleep in my passenger seat when returning from an out of town transfer, you'll pay!

The set up is simple, once my partner dozes off, take the first rest stop I find and with careful placement of the rig behind a parked tractor trailer, I place the rig in park. Hold on tight to the steering wheel while shaking your arms as if slamming on the brakes, immatating the steering wheel shake. Begin to scream at the top of you lungs "Oh God! Hold On!" etc. By this time the partner awakes in a dead panic, turn your head at the partner and continue screaming. "Ahhh!!! OH NO!!" Partner seeing the tractor trailer directly in front of the rig grabs onto the dash board and began screaming at the top of his lungs at the idea of our implied impending demise.

Hiding in shower stall to scare Nerf Herder when he went to change at end of shift.

I patiently waited thirty minutes while NH played on the computer after he clocked out. Even being given candy by my dispatcher to sustain the wait. NH entered the rest room and he closed the door, holding my breath as to not give my self away. As he turned unsuspectingly towards the mirror, I sprang my surprise on this unknowing victim. Pulling back the shower curtain and yelling surprise. NH stumbled back against the wall looking like a cat being starttled, his back hunched and conforming his fingers like cat claws to defend himself. The sheer look of terror in his eyes as he was completly startled. I ran out of the rest room with the door slamming behing me. Extensive cursing from behind the closed door was quickly drowned out but the laughter from the crew room and dispatch who had all been in on the prank. To this day Nerf Herder wont go into the rest room with out checking out the shower stall.

Good old pranks, theres just something I enjoy about them, mainly the terror which is involved from the recipient.

Be Safe
Ambulance Junkie

Turtle the House Cat

As I sit on my perch watching my kingdom, I hear the roar of the invasion party. The frigid night breeze through my fur, I peer over the edge and spy on these would be attackers. A simple group of men and their iron horse adorned with light to pierce through the night. The snow crumbles from under my paws and I fear they may have taken notice of me so I slip into the shadows and begin to plan my ambush. They advance in a hurry with hands full of weapons and make their way past any obstacle I have set forth. Not even the largest of snow berms slow them down. Up the stairs of my tower I flee, heading for the top to wage what may be my final battle. They continue to pursue me up the tower, not even slowing for the dark corridor laden with the pits and holes in the floor. They advance past the ice covered climb to the second floor and through the tricycle barrier. Hot on my tail, I claw my way into the inner sanctum of the tower's third floor, surly they can not follow. The door will hold them out allowing me to regroup and ready my counter attack. Catching my breath I feel surrounded and not yet ready for the impending strike. Through the door they enter and I quickly retreat under the camouflage of canvas and wood. They move in slowly talking in their strange language, they have not noticed me and are attending to one of their kind laying atop my position. Assured they have not noticed me I debate my move, lay in wait or use my position to strike fear in them. My back begins to rise, as I hold my ground I am poised to attack waiting my perfect opportunity. One member leaves back to the Iron horse outside no doubt, to bring heavier seige equipment. This is my chance one man already down from my earlier attack I must not waste this oppertunity! For I am Turtle, The House Cat! AHHH!!!!

"Well Hello there Kitty" I say as the feline's paw bat at my boot three consecutive times, then darts out from under the bed. The Home owner chuckles "Thats Turtle" she musters in her raspy voice, while my partner English returns with the stair chair we continue on our task. Never the wiser to the world of Turtle the House cat.

Be Safe
Ambulance Junkie

Juggling

Have you ever thought about the principles let alone the physics behind juggling? We all know how its suppose to work, it seems easy, one ball must always be in the air and the other two can be in a hand respectfully. Simple right? How many of us can actually put this into practice though? I surely can not, as much as I would like to be able to juggle I have yet to be able to master this task. It always seems to be the transition part of juggling that gets me. That may be why I went into EMS rather than the circus, though there is always room for another clown at Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus I hear.

In life though we juggle things constantly, and most of the time we have no one around clapping when we pull it off. Sure there may not be any showmanship when we pull off the boss calls home to discuss an incident while we're changing the baby's diaper routine or The wife calls when lil man's sick while your driving emergency to a male down not breathing show stopping finally. It takes just as much talent to pull off, so what if its not two guys frantically tossing shiny sharp swords between themselves with a woman standing in the middle. It doesn't mean that our feat is any less amazing. In fact it may be more so than any three ring circus act out there. 

If you ask me those guys who toss around the flaming bowling pins calling it a fire dance have nothing on those of us who have just dropped off the GSW to the hospital staff than call to tell our child good night and sweet dreams. Juggling that emotional roller coaster takes talent.

Be Safe

Junkie

Nerf Herder saved me

Now the funny thing about the whole jury duty event was that along with myself another coworker was in the random juror pool. 

She was my Supervisor and was my rig mate for a good portion of the beginning of my career.

Funnier was that a coworker was a witness and it created a conflict of interest. 

But not just any coworker, one that we in the jury pool both trained, one that we both review Qa/Qi for, 

and best of all one that I have been to Vegas with!

Nerf Herder saved me from Jury duty!

Fighting Kids Cancer

Dear Readers

    I want to tell you a little about a cause I greatly believe in, a cause that I hope you can get behind too. A few years ago I became involved with a few fellow coworkers to take a stand against childhood cancer. We joined up with St. Baldrick's and to show our solidarity with kids affected with cancer we had our heads shaved. It showed a comitment to the children that they were not alone. I am becoming reinvested in my fight and I hope

What would you look like bald? 

You'd look like a hero for kids with cancer!

Shaving your head is a great way to show your support for kids undergoing chemotherapy treatment while raising funds for life-saving research.

Mission Statement

The St. Baldrick's Foundation is a volunteer-driven charity committed to funding the most promising research to find cures for childhood cancers and give survivors long and healthy lives.

Our History

On March 17, 2000, reinsurance executives Tim Kenny, John Bender and Enda McDonnell turned their industry's St. Patrick's Day party into a benefit for kids with cancer. The three planned to raise "$17,000 on the 17th," recruiting 17 colleagues to raise $1,000 each to be shorn. Instead, the first St. Baldrick's event raised over $104,000!

The event had a life of its own and quickly grew into the world’s largest volunteer-driven fundraising program for childhood cancer research! The Foundation now funds more in childhood cancer research grants than any organization except the U.S. government. Since 2000, events have taken place in 28 countries and 50 US states, raising over $87 million. More than 144,000 volunteers-- including over 12,000 women-- have shaved their heads in solidarity of children with cancer, while requesting donations of support from friends and family – each one becoming a walking billboard for the cause!



So heres my plea to my followers, to my readers, to my fans
You've heard it right - I'm shaving my head in solidarity with children who have cancer and typically lose their hair during treatment, while raising critical funds for childhood cancer research!Click the link below


In the US, more children die of childhood cancer than any other disease. Please make a donation on my behalf to support childhood cancer research so that all children diagnosed with cancer will have a better chance for a cure.

To make a donation, click on "Make A Donation" or donate by mail or phone.

Thank you for your support!

Email me at
 AmbulanceJunkie@Gmail.com
for details on how to help!!!

A Tale of Passing Ships

To My Wife:

A ship is docked in port sheltered from the rampant storms rolling through the seas. This ship is beautiful and she is illustrious, known through the world for her abilities to handle any job near or far, a true jewel in the world of sailing. Her sails new and pristine, always the one of fashion. Her rigging made of gold, always polished to a shine. She is the pride of the shipping fleet. In the serene waters of the harbor she is calm and still, with her crew at rest, anticipation of tomorrows journey only just dreams as the light of the moon shimmers on her deck. Set to sail at dawn, she sits waiting, hoping that her companion ship will arrive safe in the harbor before the early dawn.

Her companion ship forever sailing the seas of night, navigating the vast emptiness of the ocean by starlight. Pushing through the waves and fighting through the storms which try to blow it off course. Heading to the same port of call known as home where she sits. He is weathered and battered from the struggles at sea. His crew worn and tired but always pressing forward, with patched sails and improvised rigging they have nothing to show but their love of the sailing life. No treasure, no goods, just stories and tales of the adventure on the high seas to pass on in port.

With dawn approaching the entrance to the harbor is in sight, out of food rations and the last few ounces of water left he catches a southerly breeze into the protection of the bay. At last he will see his beloved companion and the life at sea will have been worth it. But alas his beauty is no longer docked, on the horizon sails her silhouette as the morning light breaks over the ocean.

The mere glimmer of her silhouette on the horizon renews his affection to his companion ship. This life of passing may not be ideal but they are in it together and together they will be.

143
Ambulance Junkie

A Love Story

Open prescription bottles in my sink all barren of the pills once in them, empty beer cans lay waste on my tiled floor. I lay in the bath filled with cold water to numb the pain, feeling strung out and fading fast. My breaths slowing and more shallow with every passing minute. My eye lids getting heavier, the light diminishing, I'm unable to keep my eyes open. My heart slowing but my thoughts as strong as ever.

In the darkness of my own mind all I can think of is him, the one I loved who never loved me back. The pain and hurt that I went through day after day, night after night the tears I have cried. He was the one who was supposed to protect me, care for me, and love me. Not yell at me, abuse me or strike me. This will get his attention, he'll have to love me after this, he'll realize what I mean to him. As soon as he calls back he'll realize that he made a mistake and it'll fix us. He should call back soon to say sorry for our fight and he'll know what he's done to me.

The seconds slip by, the time is fleeing, the cold icy grasp of death creeps its way up my legs pulling me towards the end. Oh god why hasn't he called yet, doesn't he know what he's made me do, doesn't he realize I'm trying to hurt myself to make him see how he hurt me. Why doesn't he love me?

She begins to cry, the terror setting in that she's ending her own life hoping it would make him love her. The tears escape her eyes and she wishes she could take it back, she's sorry, she didn't mean for it to be this way.

Her cell phone slipping from her hand she goes unconscious, slipping under the water she takes her last breath. This is death, no bright light, nothing but emptiness and loneliness. Never realizing she is surrounded, surrounded by a group of men and woman fighting for her life. Complete strangers who entered her bathroom unannounced and pulled her out from under the water tomb. Strangers who will not let her slip from their grasp, doing what they must to bring her back from the brink. They breathe for her because she can not, pressing on her chest pumping her heart for it does not beat on its own, by counteracting the drugs she took to stop the damage she has already done to herself.

The why doesn't matter to these strangers, its between her and her maker. All they know is that she's not going to meet him anytime soon if they have anything to say about it.

Be Safe
Ambulance Junkie

 

A Walk In The Park For Us, Is The Great Unknown

Its dark out and she was woken from a sound sleep by an unfamiliar feeling. An uneasy feeling begins to set in as she gains her baring, readjusting her position in bed she closes her eyes. The sensation does not go away no matter which way she lays. Sitting up in bed she just cant shake this feeling, the sensation, the pressure as if someone is sitting on her chest. Not like reflux she has had before, but a feeling scary enough to call for help. 


The 3am call for chest pain is a walk in the park for most, but for the 65 year old female who has never experienced this feeling a day in her life its not just a walk in the park. Its the change of a life time, its scary, its not normal, its new and unfamiliar. We in EMS assess, treat, reassess, repeat; its what makes good providers. What makes better providers is the ability to ease and calm by voice, the ones who reassure the patients through the process of our skill set. Informing our customer of the next step we will take, the multiple things that will be going on all at once all around her.


Not including the frequent flyers, EMS typically knows a lot more than the average person of what goes on in the Emergency room in the first few moments of the ambulance's arrival. Its simply a matter that we get exposed to the initial greeting and assessments of the patient by the ER staff, the annoying wait times for a room, the feeling of udder avoidance by staff, or the paparazzi like attention patients get. As with anything repetitive it begins to be ingrained with in or such common place for us ambulance folks we don't bat an eye at the process. We have become use to it, or if your still a wet tag you'll get use to it and understand everything that goes on and even what to expect from the staff, depending on your patient .


The ones who don't understand are our patients, who already are scared for calling over their personal emergency. We have talked them through what we will do but have we talked them through what will happen?


Recently I have been complimented by coworkers and recent patients on my inclusion of what will occur once the rig stops and the off loading begins. I find it odd that it may not be common place for providers to share their gained knowledge and continue to ease our customer through the transition into the hospital. I'm no expert of what will happen step by step but I know that the process in my region is strangely similar to our first few minutes with a patient. 


So if you know that there is a chance of waiting for a room let the customer know that you'll be with them waiting and they wont just be moved into a chair and avoided. If you know their injury or illness is considered minor and that they will be placed in triage inform them of how that process works. If you know that the customers condition is one that will gain the ER's entire attention tell them of how many people will be swarming around them. 


After all its the least we can do for our customers to help them through the transition.


Be Safe
Ambulance Junkie

A frigid Morning

This morning was a rough one, it was cold. Not just any cold, it was single digit cold. Most people were inside their toasty warm beds just starting to stir when I was battling my demons. I blame no one but myself, for if I could have been inside in the warmth of my bed I assure you I would have been.

I was preparing for my venture home in the cold, my honorable Wrangler by my side to whisk me the 2.5 miles to my "estate" on top of the mountain. I inserted my key into the lock and turned, thinking I had twisted my wrist the wrong direction I reversed and went the other way. Funny I thought to my self no click notifying me of the lock being disengaged. I pull the handle thinking there must be a mistake to no avail, turning the key back the original way I pull the handle.....Nothing! OK, no problem after all I have a passenger side to unlock and I'll just unlock the driver door from the inside and be on my way. Oh what a thought, home in my warm bed to partake in my favorite activity, sleep. My boots crunching in the hardened snow I make it to the passenger side door. Turn, pull, turn, pull, the twisting and rotating useless, with nothing being achieved I sigh into the vast emptiness of the city streets at five am. My breath pouring out of me like puff the magic dragon, no fear my tail gate will work! Ah the trusty tail gate, its never failed me before when I've locked myself out of the Jeep. Though that was when I had the summer soft top on and not the hard top, never the less I insert my key and turn.

At last I am able to get into the Jeep, what success in a small battle, feeling vindicated in my efforts the reality sets in. The real work has yet to begin, the car seat I worked so hard at placing and securing this past weekend now has to be removed. Not only removed to make room for my rear seat to fold down but it has to be accomplished blindly from the behind the seat. Fondling like teenager working his first bra clasp I fuddle at the task. Accomplishing that, I fold down the seat and crawl my less than petite frame into the back of the Jeep. I still am in rather good spirits thinking the lock cylinder was just frozen and that the interior lock button would release the door and allow me in.

What kind of a story would that be if I gained easy entry? As I am sprawled out comprehending that The locks are entirely to cold to even work and begin to think of how to make it home. Starting my Wrangler and sliding my physique out I am still clinging onto the slim hope that cranking the heat and warming up the interior would make the locks work. Now 45 minutes since my end of shift have passed and still no access into the Jeep other than through the tailgate. I have tried steaming hot water in an attempt to defrost the locks, thought about laying extension cords across a busy street to run a hair dryer to warm up the locks. Even considered walking home, but when its to cold to snow its to cold for extreme mountain walking. And yes for those who see snow less than once a year, there is such a reality as to cold to snow.

No other options panning out I realize I have to begin the daunting task of climbing into the Wrangler and some how pivot my self around contorting limbs into position not even the Kama-Sutra would recommend just to get into the drivers seat. I am so glad that the local lady's were with "johns" and the Urban Nomads were in shelters other wise there may be a new You Tube video posted labeled Bear rummaging through a Jeep. Now finally in the drivers seat I am content knowing that I can at least head home and get into my nice warm bed and my ordeal is over.

.....Then I realize the tail gate is still wide open....sighing I knew what I had to do. Climbing back out of my seat I struggle to find the inner strength to continue, reclining the passenger seat I tumble over the slanted rear seat and reach for the tail gate. I had no intention of trying to get the glass down, I would rather just suffer the cold single digit morning air. Making it home event free I park and pray to every religion known to man that my door locks be free and I can exit this frigid ice box.

It was twice as hard contorting on the way out than on the way in.

Be Safe
Ambulance Junkie