Jul 25, 2010

The Yoda kid

"Medic Nine respond with the police to the school with out walls for a child having behavioral out burst" The radio squawks "Medic Nine copy's en route" I chatter back. Pulling up on scene we exit the rig and pull our stretcher out. Wheel it up the ramp and through the main doors, we follow the staff down a hallway past heavy thick steel doors slammed shut. The children glaring through the glass encrusted wire windows with a teacher valiantly trying to educate them. The echo of our foot steps trailing down the hall we are presented with a wall of staff members standing awaiting our arrival along with an officer. "he's not violent but somethings definitely going on that I think your better off handling" the officer says. As the staff parts allowing me to pass, the last of which opens a large door as if for royalty. My eyes adjust to the dimly lit room, the walls with white padding from top to bottom all inked up with sketches from inhabitants pass. The single browned out light bulb in the room is surrounded with a cage lined with dried snot and spit. In the shadows in the far corner my eyes lay sight to a young dark skinned male huddled down. I approach cautiously.
This young man looking at me begins to speak "What looking at are you" "Excuse me? Whats going on today man?" I ask in wonder. "Do you understand the language of the Jedi not?" the boy asks. I turn to the officer in confusion and disbelief. "yeah I don't really have authority to transport here, so that's where you come into play" Says the officer.

Lucky me I think as my partner and I take this non violent young student on our stretcher and secured him with leg lap and chest straps. As we roll the patient out of the building I ask the typical questions like his name, if he is having any complaints, and SAMPLE history. The patient looking at me states "Yoda ki-adi-mundi, my name is. Yes, hmmm. No concern of yours, the rest is." At this point we have loaded our young Jedi Master into the rig, his sudden psychosis or his possession by a fictional character I test his devotion to this act ir the seriousness of the situation. "So you said your name is Yoda Ki-Adi-Mundi right? Like Yoda from star wars huh? than explain to me why are you taking a Jedi Master of an unknown species and combining it with a complete seperate Jedi Master?" The Patient looking at me begins to have the slight enjoyment wash off his face, "well...well....Your Mom!" the patient shouts. "So that easily you've given up your little game huh?" I ask, "I was expecting more, I mean as elaborate as your escapade was to get out of school you could at least sell it to me" "PING" my cell chirps as a text from my partner comes in. I glance quickly reading: you just Jedi Mind tricked his ass! 

The rest of the trip in was rather uneventful. Taking vitals and grabbing what little history the kid felt like sharing. I understood this kids desire to get attention, his outward cry of desperation. It wasn't a long ride into the Hospital, I don't think a two hour trip would have allowed this kid to receive enough time away from his inner demons. Pulling the stretcher out of the rig with our young Padawon in tow we enter the ER. "Afternoon folks, Let me introduce to you my young patient....Yoda Kid, He's been acting out today and is in need of a Psych eval." Glancing out of the corner of my eye I wink at my young troubled person. He smiled back and continued on his way, "Yoda the great Jedi master I am." The staff none the wiser.

Be safe
Ambulance Junkie

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